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  • Writer's picturegilburns

What's Going On?

"Well? What IS going on?" I hear you cry from behind your weekly newspapers.

"Surely YOU can tell ME if you're reading the newspaper!" I hear myself respond in joyous tone.

You look at me, bewildered and tell me to stop being so stupid and get on with it. You get your way*.

In all honesty, there's really not much going on at all. I'm off to see Paul Merton's Impro Chums in Halifax tomorrow which will be a good chortle and some good old comedy improv inspiration. I'm prepping various bits of writing and performance to enter into many and varying competitions in the next few weeks so that should be fun.

I've also decided that I really should be able to do a handstand by now so I'll do a bit of working on that and let you know how I get on. I'm 42 and my body's falling to bits, but maybe - just maybe - I might manage it. Fingers crossed, but not while trying to do a handstand because I imagine that would put your balance off and make you go all wobbly and stuff and maybe fall down. Which is something we don't want.

I realise I've not thrown a Shakespearean insult out there for a bit and I'm not near my 'generator', so I'll have to promise one for next time. Plus I have to get into the car and drive to the car park near where I'm about to attend a committee meeting and AGM and wait for a phonecall from my physio about the recent xrays I had on my knees. Hopefully he'll just say "Your knees are fine Miss Burns" (because he calls me Miss Burns. Honest.) - although knowing my luck he'll actually say "Oh dear Miss Burns. It's bad news I'm afraid. You'll never be able to do a handstand" and I'll curl up into a ball of sadness and pain in the driver's seat of my car, miss the committee and AGM and then attempt to drive home in the dark through tears listening to Lionel Ritchie on the Spotify. It will indeed be a sad evening. BUT let's hope for the former response and all will be well in my quest to try and do a handstand. I'll keep you posted.

PS - I've finally managed to sell my full quota of free stuff. And during those last few gasping moments of hard 'sell' I suddenly had enough inquiries to over subscribe myself and end up with more work than I had in the first place. Straight mouth emoji. One extreme to the other. Ah well. So this week I find myself in SCHOOLS - possibly my most hated places on earth. But hey - it's work. Wish me luck and please pray that I don't get vomited upon.

*I'm glad you got your way. The actual real life news in the newspapers is enough to make you cry.

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